10 signs you’ve been in the crypto industry too long

A market crash recently sent shockwaves across global financial markets, sending Bitcoin (BTC) below $50,000 for the first time since your grandma asked you what a Dogecoin (DOGE) is. 

But you’re as cool as a cucumber because you’ve been on this crypto rollercoaster more times than you care to admit.

If this sounds like you, congratulations; you’re a seasoned crypto veteran who knows that market turbulence is just part of the game. 

This plane just shakes a lot more, and sometimes, the in-flight movie is a horror flick. 

So, buckle up and check out these 10 signs you’ve been in crypto way too long:

1. You call a 28% drop a “healthy correction” that “cleared out the leverage”

Investing in crypto can take a toll on your emotional state. Your soul is calloused, and your computer mouse is marked with the dried sweat of countless battles. But these are proof that you’re now mentally more stable than ever, even if your portfolio is anything but.

“As long as Tether is stable, so am I,” you mutter to yourself.

Bitcoin dropping from $62,000 to under $50,000? Just a healthy correction that cleared out the leverage. 

You believe these steep drops are part of the initiation phase that scares weak-hearted crypto tourists away from Bitcoin.

2. You lose 65% of your net worth in an hour, and your first thought is shitposting

Your portfolio is melting by the second, and you have to act fast before it’s too late. 

Notifications are blowing up from those you dragged into crypto, all blaming you for the market freefall.

Ignoring the chaos, you zero in on finding that perfect meme of someone putting on a McDonald’s hat. The world must know you’re prepared to flip patties starting tomorrow to make ends meet.

You post your masterpiece, and just like that, your anxiety fades. All’s right with the world again.Related: Bitcoin decline is similar to the start of the 2016 bull run — Peter Brandt

Priorities sorted, you finally glance at your portfolio — wiped out. 

But hey, Bitcoin is super cheap today. #BTFD.

3. You love it when retail outlets accept Bitcoin, but you never pay for anything with it there

The neighborhood’s newest cafe just opened, and it accepts Bitcoin. But let’s be honest — you’d rather pay with fiat.

You lug your laptop to work at this Bitcoin cafe all day. Sure, you’ll pay with Bitcoin on your first visit just to let your new barista know you’re part of the crypto crew. But that’s a one-and-done deal.

In the past, if a merchant accepted Bitcoin, you’d buy their stuff — it didn’t matter what it was, you just bought it.

But you’re wiser now. If you keep paying with Bitcoin, you’d have to part with your precious coins and then go to a centralized exchange to buy more with fiat. 

Why would you ever do that? 

It’s like eating your cake and then baking another one just to replace it. Nope, not happening.

4. You’ve started to see celebs endorsing coins as cash grabs rather than mass adoption

There was a time when a well-known celebrity launching their crypto project gave you hope that this industry was on the brink of onboarding their millions of social media followers.

“Now, that’s what I call mass adoption,” you used to say, pumping your fist in the air while sitting in front of your desk for the 18th consecutive hour.

You’ve been through several cycles and watched these projects crumble, with some of the world’s biggest stars getting called out for pulling the rug on their fans and getting sued by the United States Securities and Exchange Commission.

Fast forward a few years, and a top star launches their coin. Thousands innocently buy in while crypto detectives point out insider trading.

“All these poor people are getting scammed! It’s terrible for mass adoption!” you say, facepalming while lying in bed with your laptop for the 19th consecutive hour.

5. You turn off lights to save money and are so frugal that you only go out to eat on Taco Tuesday, but you think nothing of dropping $20,000 into some new memecoin

Ah, bear market time again. You’re back to turning off lights like you’re hiding from an energy vampire, brewing your own coffee, imposing a strict ban on Uber Eats, and only dining out on Taco Tuesday.

The talking heads on TV are droning on about recession fears and geopolitical tensions, but you’ve weathered enough bear markets to know the drill. 

You’ve mastered the art of surviving until the bulls come back.

But wait, what’s this? A shiny new memecoin promising to turn your life around and have you rolling in a Ferrari.

Every rational part of you screams to resist, but the degen inside you is too strong. 

Before you know it, you’re shouting “LFG!” and “YOLOing” $20,000 into it.

6. You’re paralyzed with regret over not buying Pepe at $0.000001 after it went to $0.000002

We all have that one decision in the rearview mirror that keeps us looking back. Maybe it was ignoring that Bitcoin nerd in 2013, misplacing a hardware wallet or losing a crucial password.

As the resident crypto guru of your friend group, you confidently told your crypto noob buddy to steer clear of that new memecoin he found on X. Your scam sensors were off the charts. 

Related: Why are memecoins down today?

Then you sat beside him, cringing in embarrassment as Pepe (PEPE) defied your wisdom and shot up from $0.000001 to $0.000002.

“The rug should be coming any time now,” you said moments before another 100x God candle lights up the charts.

7. Your friends are anonymous anime characters and frogs who you’ve never met

You’ve made more friends in your crypto phase than at any other point in your life, but you’ve never actually met most of them — you only know them as their non-fungible token avatars.

One friendly rich cartoon monkey knows more about you than any of your “in-real-life” (IRL) friends, including exactly how much money you have since you’ve transacted in crypto together, and they can see all your wallet activities.

You call your offline buddies “IRL friends,” while your crypto pals are just “friends.” 

Oh, and your IRL friends? They still think you have way more Bitcoin than you actually do.

8. After 10 years, you finally capitulate and sell your crypto two hours before the start of the biggest crypto bull run in history

You’ve spent a decade hodling your bag through the coldest of crypto winters. You’ve finally accepted that crypto isn’t going to make you retire by 35 like that Instagram bro promised. 

So, you sell.

Two hours later, Bitcoin skyrockets, and you’re left watching the biggest bull run in history from the sidelines. Just your luck, right?

You laugh to keep from crying and distract yourself by finding the perfect meme to express your newfound freedom from the crypto grind. 

“At least I can sleep now,” you think as you tap open the crypto trading app on your phone.

9. You enter your fourth bull market without becoming a millionaire

You first joined crypto because someone told you if you accumulated just 1 BTC, you’d be among the richest people in 50 years. 

But now, Bitcoin’s price has gone through the roof, and you’re still at 0.3 BTC with 100 million PEPE, and your alarm’s ringing, so it’s time to get your ass out of bed and go to work.

You thought you’d have enough time to accumulate more Bitcoin or Ether during the bear market, but you’ve burned all your Ether (ETH) paying gas fees, and most of your money has gone into memecoins.

Oh well, try again in the next bear market. 

Maybe by then, you’ll have mastered the art of hodling without falling for every memecoin that promises to make you rich overnight. 

Meanwhile, it’s back to the grind and dreaming of what might have been if only you’d bought that full Bitcoin.

10. You start thinking that Satoshi really might mean “Central Intelligence Agency” in Japanese

Yes, there are plausible theories, and you’ve watched all the YouTube videos. They’ve tickled your brain with wild ideas like cryptocurrencies being an economic experiment by the Central Intelligence Agency and Satoshi’s untouched Bitcoin stash being an emergency fund for the US government in case of future global crises.Magazine: The value of a legacy: Hunting down Satoshi’s Bitcoin

By now, you get why Bitcoin doesn’t have a frontman — it’s all about achieving decentralization. No leaders, no problems, right?